


The Fire That Will Catch You

by ded_i_am_just_ded



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Pliroy, Slow Burn, Yuri is a little broken, a surreal mix of angst and crack, but that's okay, frenemies to lovers, lovers to strangers to friends, past otayuri, written entirely to please the author
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 17:33:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17084672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ded_i_am_just_ded/pseuds/ded_i_am_just_ded
Summary: Yuri has always compared himself to the end of  the Little Mermaid, waiting to turn into foam and fade away. He’d thought maybe Otabek was the Prince Charming who would save him, but he wasn’t and he couldn’t. When Yuri joins the other skaters for an Ice Show in the US, life takes strange turns that leave him with two major realizations; maybe his friendship with Otabek can be salvaged, and maybe the thought of kissing JJ in the locker room sounds like a bit more fun than he wants to admit.





	The Fire That Will Catch You

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by the song quoted, Beartooth’s “[Body Bag](https://youtu.be/81CakcFEH0U)”, and Pierce The Veil’s “[Caraphernelia](https://youtu.be/gOycbC9L3Hg)”.
> 
> The idea of this has been sitting in my gdocs since December of 2017 and it's always bugged me that I never got around to writing it.

** The Fire That Will Catch You **

“ _You can lie to everyone around you, but you can't lie to the hole inside you.”_ ”

-Beartooth “ _Body Bag”_

  
  


When he was little, Yuri loved the fairytale of the Little Mermaid. His mother would read it to him, her voice soft, her arms wrapped around him as she'd try to lull him to sleep. He read it to her when he was seven and she was in a hospital bed. Yuri remembers her soft smile, the way her fragile hands brushed his hair behind his ear. He can still hear her murmur of, “Be good.” the last time he saw her.

When he moved in with his grandfather, he tucked the book away in the back of his closet to be forgotten. Gone was the romantic idea behind the story, away went the little boy who believed in fairy tales. In stepped an angry child who saw and believed there were no happy endings.

◇☆◇☆◇

_Fingers tug at his hair, a pleasurable chill escapes down his spine as his heads is forced back. He can feel the noise behind the wall, the music thrums through him and makes everything that much more real._

_He gasps as there's teeth at his pulse, grinds his hips forward and wraps his arms around shoulders as the hands in his hair slip downwards to grab his thighs and lift him up. He laughs breathlessly into the shoulder of the other man, then breathes in the sharp scent of his cologne._

_He hasn't felt this good in ages, adrenaline pulsing as hips rock together in beautiful friction. His partner smiles against his neck, fingers grabbing at his ass in demand, thrusting their own hips up to meet him._

_From far away, he hears a noise, tries to ignore it and focuses on just feeling_ good.

_“_ Yurio _?”_

_Yuri freezes, that's not the voice he should be hearing. Not his fucking name either, he pulls back, tries to make his partner look at him. But they shatter like glass and vanish like smoke and he's falling._

◇☆◇☆◇

The black ceiling fan swings around lazily, stark against the white ceiling. There's slight slipping through the curtains, spraying the foot of the bed and the wall by the door. He blinks away the dream and tries to wake up enough to recall it. Lips on his neck, fingers in hair.

“Yurio! Are you ready?” That voice again.

“Not my FUCKING NAME!” Is his only reply as he rolls to the edge and sits up, putting a hand to his forehead. He feels like he hasn't even slept and a glance at the clock on the nightstand tells him it's only 6:42. He tries to drag fingers through his absolutely decimated hair and yawns. Katsudon’s voice echoes through his brain, ready for what?

There's a knock at the door and someone tries the handle, but apparently last-night-Yuri remembered to lock it. He blinks at the door then focuses on the luggage next to it. _Fuck_. He groans and calls backwards, winces as he lands with the sun in his eyes.

It's their yearly break from competing. He's just turned nineteen and he's in peak condition, at the point where he should really be training for the Olympics. But _nooooo_ , drunken-birthday-boy-Yuri had been conned into agreeing to a fucking Ice Show. In the US. He wants to go back to bed. Correction; he wants to go home and into his own bed. Their flight is so ridiculously early he'd been coerced into staying in the guest room of Viktor's ridiculously overpriced (though disappointingly well decorated) apartment.

There's a much firmer knock, breaking his steam of thoughts, then Viktor calls in his infuriatingly awake voice, “I heard you! Get moving, we're leaving in ten minutes.”

He debates ignoring him, but Viktor is a horrible person under all that sunshine shining out of his ass and who knows what he'd do if Yuri isn't ready in ten.

“I'm up!” he shouts and forces himself upwards. The sooner he gets this disaster started, the sooner he'll be back in Russia and heading towards an Olympic gold.

◇☆◇☆◇

After twenty-something hours and two plane changes, Yuri debates kissing the fucking ground when they get out of baggage claim. But they're in Los Angeles, a place he's never actually been to other than through layovers and if he blinks he's worried he'll lose the only other Russians he knows.

Viktor orders an Uber, and a sleek black SUV pulls up to get them. Yuri tucks his hair into his hoodie and tries not to fall asleep in the back seat as Viktor and Katsudon get the driver involved in a conversation that's way too much noise after such a long flight. He swears when they get to the hotel he's going to find his bed and die for the next 24 to 48 hours.

But they don't stop at a hotel. Instead, the Uber takes them residential, and Yuri finds himself in the driveway of a California Modern, a 2-story monstrosity of cement and dark woods with tons of windows. The other two are headed up the driveway when he says, “What are we doing here? What about the hotel?”

Viktor grins and Katsudon adjusts his stupid glasses before answering, “We're staying here now,” His shitty Russian grates on Yuri's last nerves, “With the others.”

Yuri's frown darkens, “What others?”

“Did you not read the email, Yurio?” Viktor breaks in, draping himself over Katsudon's shoulders.

“No, you were going to drag me along anyway, so…” he trails off with a shrug, “And still not my name.”

“Oh, this is going to be fun!” Viktor doesn't offer any more than that and tugs at Katsudon to continue their trek to the front door.

Ugh. _Fun_. Right. He looks up at the impossibly blue sky and curses under his breath.

_Fun_.

◇☆◇☆◇

He’s _not_ pouting on the couch in the massive living room when the front door opens again. He’s just sitting there, scrolling Instagram and trying to ignore the sickeningly sweet baby talk coming from the other couch. When the door opens, a wave of noise swallows the entire room and almost makes him stand up and flee. He hears Chris and Chulanont and, oh fuck, is that JJ? He shoots a glare at Viktor, who slides to his feet and plasters his godforsaken grin on his face before bouncing off to greet everyone.

Yuri mouths ‘ _kill me_ ’ at Katsudon, but the idiot just blinks at him and stands as well. Perfect. Great. Brilliant. Could this get any worse?

The universe decides that Yuri isn’t suffering enough, apparently. When the crowd spills from the entryway into the living space, Yuri looks up to tell them all off and spots another face. One he was really hoping wouldn’t be there. Dark eyes meet his own and it hurts when he simply nods at Yuri and looks away.

They used to be best friends, he used to be the only one Yuri could tell all his secrets to. They’d sworn things wouldn’t change, a pinky promise at a park on a mountain road in Kazakhstan. A pinky promise and a soft, hesitant kiss. Yuri can still feel the push of their mouths melding together. They’d sworn things wouldn’t change, but that had eventually become a lie. He hasn’t spoken to him in eight and a half months. They acknowledge each other then move on.

Yuri knows that everyone leaves, eventually. He thinks of his mother and bites his lip, thinks of his grandfather and lets his phone fall to his lap so he can twist his hands together. He thinks of Viktor, running off to Japan and Katsudon. Of Otabek, giving him a sad smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, of him walking away without looking back. Everyone leaves, and he’s left to carry it all alone.

A hand lands on his shoulder, startling him, “Heya, Princess, how’s life?”

Yuri looks up to meet smiling blue eyes and scowls. There’s the last straw for today. He shoves the hand off and pushes himself to his feet, shoving his phone into his sweater pocket, “Fuck off, Leroy.”

He elbows his way past him and pushes through the group standing in his way. He barely hears Viktor calling his name as he moves up the stairs, his blood pulsing so hard in his ears. He ducks into the first open door he finds, a bathroom, and slams the door behind himself, leaning against it and closing his eyes. They’re going to be around each other for weeks. In the same rink, the same _house_. How is he going to survive this? He kicks the door once and slides down to sit against it, staring up at the popcorn ceiling.

It’s been months, he thinks he should be over this. But he’s worried maybe he never will be. Maybe Otabek was his one shot at being a normal teenager, his one shot at falling into some semblance of love. Maybe he’s still holding onto him with an underlying hope that it’s not really over. But Otabek had walked away.

And Yuri had let him go.

◇☆◇☆◇

Katsudon eventually forces him out of the bathroom, helps him pick out a bedroom with a single bed. He’ll deal with sharing one wall with Viktor and another with Chris in exchange for having his own fucking room. Headphones exist for a reason, right? He’s just finished throwing his clothes into the closet when someone knocks at the door. It’s too loud to be Katsudon, too quiet for Viktor (who probably wouldn’t have knocked anyway) and there’s no way it’s Otabek. Curiosity gets the better of him, so he sighs and tugs the door open.

Leo de la Iglesia grins at him from under his shaggy haircut and salutes him once, “Settled in? Good.” He doesn’t give Yuri a chance to answer, he reaches out and grabs Yuri’s wrist, dragging him out of the room, “We’re going shopping.”

“What? Why me?” He tries to escape the grip, but the other skater just continues his trek down the hall and down the stairs, fingers on his wrist like a vice.

“Because you’re the only one who hasn’t socialized. And I don’t have nearly enough food in the house.” He shoots him a grin, then turns the corner and heads for the garage, “Also you’re the youngest so everyone else nominated you.”

“Gee, thanks.” Yuri rolls his eyes. At least he had his cellphone, he could just focus on that and surviv-

“Princess! Wondered where you’d gone! You’re coming with us?”

“Oh, fuck no. Sorry, Leo, I’m out.” Yuri’s escape attempts are futile, but he struggles harder. Leo pulls him into the garage, digging keys out of his pocket. JJ follows, so close behind them that when Leo finally lets him go, he runs straight into the Canadian’s chest. He issues a string of obscenities and tries to dart around JJ.

“No can do, _chaton_. Come on, we’re going to spend some quality time together.”

“Fucking kill me.” Since he clearly isn’t escaping, he instead takes the front passenger seat of the giant SUV Leo unlocks. He hears JJ laugh and the asshole ruffles Yuri’s hair as he slides into the back seat. Another string of curses later, they’re pulling out of the garage.

Leo is _not_ the best driver. He’s not Viktor, but he’s damn fucking close. By the time they pull into the parking lot, Yuri is wondering if he could possibly walk back. Maybe get lucky and get mugged and murdered along the way. Anything to escape this disaster waiting to happen. Leo hooks an arm in his and drags him into the supermarket, whistling along to the crap on the overhead.

JJ wrestles a cart out, making what Yuri is sure is way, _way_ too much noise, then follows them. When he opens his mouth, Yuri instantly tunes them out and resigns himself to his fate. He's finally released in the produce section and he makes a beeline for a display of melons, more to get away from them than anything.

Yuri doesn't _do_ socializing. He does his shopping by himself, as fast as possible. Leo and JJ seem content to just meander, talking to each other and other customers. He picks up a melon and pretends to examine it. He knows Leo is just trying to be friendly, knows it's what _normal_ people would do. But Yuri isn't normal. He's weird, he's solitary, he’s never done the things normal people do.

He's never had the chance.

His default is anger, it's safe and it keeps him from getting hurt. You can't break if there's no one there to break you. Anger is his shield, without it he is-

“You're glaring at that melon awfully hard, what did it do to you?” He feels the heat of JJ's chest as the taller man leans around him. He tenses, throwing his walls up and JJ seems to notice, he takes a step and is standing beside him in an instant, just far enough away to not be touching.

Yuri turns his glare on him, “Maybe I'm pretending it's your head and debating if I could crush it with my bare hands or if I needed a hammer.”

JJ's eyebrow raises, “So violent. Does _le chaton_ need a nap? It's been kind of a long day for you, hasn't it?”

Yuri opens his mouth to issue a snarky reply, but is interrupted when cold metal knocks into his ankle, startling him into dropping the melon to spin around. (He ignores that JJ rescues the fruit and carefully puts it back on the pile.)

Leo grins at him and bumps him with the cart again, it's less painful against his ankle this time and he grabs the top of the thing to stop the American from doing it a third time, “What the fuck?” spills out and Yuri's kind of worried he's going to be saying that a lot.

Both Leo and JJ laugh before Leo swings the cart around and steps closer to Yuri, “Lighten up, man, it's just food. What do you want to eat?” He's already walking away without waiting for a reply. A hand presses at the small of Yuri's back and he instinctively steps forward, then comes to his senses and shoots a glare over his shoulder at JJ.

JJ’s still smiling, but there's a hint of something else in his expression. He looks like he's going to say something about it, Yuri can't deal with whatever it is right now, so he moves to catch up to Leo and steals the shopping cart.

It suddenly feels easier, and he doesn't know why. Nothing has really changed, he's not talking, but they are. It's all just noise around him but he feels better. The tightness in his chest loosens just a little, his frown fades into something neutral. When Leo literally skips down the cereal aisle ahead of him, he has his camera out to catch the tail end of it before the moron does an over-exaggerated spin and strikes a pose like he's just finished a program.

It's so ridiculous Yuri actually smiles, then pauses the cart to post the video to his Instagram. He tags Leo then grudgingly adds JJ because the idiot's standing next to the cart and his hip and hand are in the corner of the video.

**#i'msurroundedbymorons #sendhelp #trappedinLA #igiveita7of10**

He hesitates, then uploads it and tucks the phone away as it starts racking up notifications. Leo throws two boxes of cereal--kinds definitely not on any training regimen--into the main basket, makes victory signs with his hands and turns around to bounce to the end of the aisle.

Yuri sighs, knocks the cart sideways to hit JJ, then follows the American, adding a box of Lucky Charms to the cart as he passes them by. He'll take all the luck he can get, even if it's in the form of children's cereal.

◇☆◇☆◇

They pull into the drive and there's a few more cars than there were when they'd left. Just how many people were going to fit inside this house? He's distracted by a flash of light from the side of the building, and spots Otabek with his shades on. He wonders if he's hiding, but his head turns and Yuri swears their eyes meet.

When they park, Otabek holds his door open for him and says in quiet Russian, “ _We should talk._ ” Yuri misses the sound of his voice, it stirs up images that make his stomach knot. He nods and lets Otabek close the car door.

“ _Chaton_ , you gonna help bring all this inside?” JJ asks as they pass him at the SUV's backdoor, loading his arms up with reusable bags.

“Fuck off.” Is his default response before stepping out into the driveway and leading the way down to the sidewalk.

Otabek puts his hands in his pockets, falls into step beside him, and remains silent. They both always know when to give each other a few minutes. It's painful to Yuri that it hasn't changed. They could still be friends, but they aren't.

Eventually, Otabek says, “How have you been?” and it's the most normal thing in the world, like an ice-breaker. But they shouldn't need that, should they? It's been eight months, but it still hurts. They could already be strangers. But Yuri knows Otabek’s favorite color, his favorite movie, hell, his favorite fucking tee-shirt. Yuri knows Otabek doesn't like fish or broccoli, that he likes his coffee with stupid amounts of sugar, that he prefers to sleep on his stomach. They shouldn't be talking like this.

The thought brings back the familiar fire of anger in him and he stops in his tracks, spins to face him, “Do you really want to know? I don't think it matters, so let's skip the bullshit.” Otabek frowns, Yuri knows it's because his anger is never directed at him, “You never do shows, why are you here? Checking up on me? No need, I'm _fine_.”

Clearly.

Otabek looks a little disappointed, his shoulders drop, “I heard you'd be here.” He looks away and shrugs, “I was hoping we could...fix things between us.”

The fire in him dies a little, he feels his walls start to weaken. Otabek doesn't say anything else, just makes a gesture with his shoulder and continues their walk.

Yuri's brain tries to catch up. Fix things? What part of things? Ex's are called that for a reason. He knows Otabek doesn't mean he wants to date him again, he won't even let that thought clearly surface. When he glances at Otabek, it reminds him of the Prince in the Little Mermaid. Not quite the one from the Disney version, but not really the one from the fairy tale either. He tried to save Yuri, but Yuri didn't want to be saved. He tried to show Yuri life beyond skating, but Yuri couldn't see what Otabek saw.

Yuri knows Otabek tried. To be honest, they both tried. But sometimes, puzzle pieces that look like they should, don't fit and you can't force them.

Otabek is still beautiful, still something Yuri doesn't think he deserves. And Otabek wants to fix this.

They walk around the entire block in silence. Yuri misses even something so simple. They stop just before the driveway, hidden by a massive, flowery bush. Yuri looks up at Otabek, gets locked into his gaze, he sees the years between them in Otabek's eyes, feels it in his chest.

It gives him courage, makes him take a deep breath, “I miss my best friend.”

It doesn't fix anything, but it's a start.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't use and know nothing about Instagram, so sue me.
> 
> I'm on [Tumblr](https://ded-i-am-just-ded.tumblr.com/) still, but I'm told I'm currently marked explicit and haven't figured out how to fix that yet. :/


End file.
